What do you do when your Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa or Auntie and Uncle start to lose their ability to live independently? When the only memories they have are of days long gone by? Grandma is still her loving self, but she no longer knows who you are. Grandpa, who was always kind and gentle, is now easily upset and agitated.
These are all signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s and for our family member and our loved ones, this disease is devastating. Not every place knows how to care for these loved ones. Placing them in a regular nursing home or assisted living facility can be dangerous. If they have enough days in the week where they appear lucid ad able to function, someone untrained in how to deal with memory impaired patients can get complacent, and that’s when a loved one can wander off.
I have listened to enough stories to know when it’s time to get your loved one into a special care facility, or somewhere like here, at San Clemente Villas, where we have our West Indies Wing that caters solely to people with memory impairments.
Caring .Com has some good advice on how to tell if someone you know should be placed in Memory Care Assisted Living:
“Here are some questions to help you decide whether the person needs more assistance. Each “yes” answer is a red flag that warrants a closer look.
Sign it’s time for assisted living #1: Changes in communication
- Have letters and grandchildren’s birthday cards slowed or stopped?
- Does she seldom initiate calls anymore (it’s always you calling first)?
- Does she seem in a hurry to get off the phone, fail to ask you many questions, or seem unresponsive to your comments?
- Do you get nonemergency calls at unreasonable hours, or hear complaints from friends that they’re receiving such calls?
As dementia progresses, she may find it difficult to follow the steps involved in writing, addressing, stamping, and mailing a letter. Phone conversations become difficult to follow. It can be worrisome when you can only get firsthand updates by visiting in person. And someone who can’t write and mail letters may also have trouble completing the steps involved in cooking or driving. Odd communications in the evenings or at night can be characteristic of sundown syndrome, the worsening of confusion and other Alzheimer’s symptoms that sometimes occurs late in the day.
Sign it’s time for assisted living #2: Changes in self-care
- Is she losing weight inexplicably?
- Is she gaining weight inexplicably?
- Has her usual style (hair, makeup, clothing) become noticeably different?
- Does she dress appropriately for the occasion?
- Does she dress appropriately for the weather?
- Have you detected the smell of urine on her clothes?
- Does she stay up later and later, and then not wake until practically midday?
My staff and I are happy to make an appointment with you to discuss whether your loved one might be better off, and more safe in our beautiful facility here in San Clemente Ca. If we meet you, go over their medical records, chat with their physician, and spend a little time with your Mom or Dad, we will know better what course to take.
Give us a call, no obligation, and we can chat.
Aileen Brazeau
Co-owner, San Clemente Villas by the Sea,
Assisted living, dementia care, alzheimer’s care, South Orange County








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